04 April 2008

Silly Answering Machine Messages

"Hey guess who this is? You guessed it. Guess what you have to do now? you guessed it. Guess what's next? You guessed it..."


Roses are red, violets are blue,
Sugar is sweet, and so are you
The roses have wilted, the violets are dead,
The sugar bowl's empty, and so is your head
The roses stink, sorta like sheep
But leave your name, number, and message after the beep
The roses are molding, the violets are rotten
And I might call you back, if I haven't forgotten


We might be in, we might be out, but leave a message and you might find out!


This call may be recorded or monitored for quality and training purposes. If you don't wish this call to be monitored or recorded, then please let the answering machine know when you leave your message.


Hi. This is John:
If you are the phone company, I already sent the money.
If you are my parents, please send money.
If you are my financial aid institution, you didn't lend me enough money.
If you are my friends, you owe me money.
If you are a female, don't worry, I have plenty of money.


Talk to the phone, the face ain't home, please leave a message, after the tone. BEEP!


Sorry we’re not here to lend an ear, so leave a word and you'll be heard.


Please leave a message. However, you have the right to remain silent. Everything you say will be recorded and will be used by us.


A is for academics, B is for beer. One of those reasons is why we're not here. So leave a message.


Hello, this is Ron. I'm not home right now, but I can take a message. Hang on a second while I get a pencil. [Open a drawer and shuffle stuff around.] OK, what would you like me to tell me?


This is you-know-who. We are you-know-where. Leave your you-know-what you-know-when.


You know what I hate about answering machine messages? They go on and on, wasting your time. I mean, all they really need to say is, "We aren't in, leave a message." That's why I've decided to keep mine simple and short. I pledge to you, my caller, that you will never have to suffer through another long answering machine message when you call me...

7 potatoes speak:

Baby said...

funny and funny

thepinkbanana said...

haha yeahh =D

3POINT8 said...

I'm tempted to use this:
"Hello, this is Ron. I'm not home right now, but I can take a message. Hang on a second while I get a pencil. [Open a drawer and shuffle stuff around.] OK, what would you like me to tell me?"

Should I? should I?

sNoWcAnD: said...

I think this sounds cool:

"This call may be recorded or monitored for quality and training purposes. If you don't wish this call to be monitored or recorded, then please let the answering machine know when you leave your message."

Janelle - *snowcandi.blogspot.com*

Dom. said...

Haha.. nice ones.. wanted to do one of my own. but kinda have a brain block now :(..

thepinkbanana said...

3point8 : Hehe yeah you should!

snowcandi and dom. : hello (=

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